Life Lessons from Gift Registries

Indeed, it has been a week since my last post. Apologies to my fan (Michelle). Sadly, blogging does not pay my bills and work this week was a bit insane. A highlight from my work week occurred when i was running late (shocking) on Wednesday. I grabbed oatmeal to eat at the office. Starving, I went into our kitchen at work, put oatmeal in our overpriced office dishes and then walked over to the carafe labeled "Hot Water." Now, i have made hot tea before using this exact carafe, so when i pushed the plunger on the carafe I was less than thrilled to watch coffee come spraying all over my oatmeal. I yelled a few choice words and in comes our secretary. "Oops, it looks like i put coffee in the wrong carafe, he he he." And thus, i started my day forced to eat coffee flavored oatmeal....yummy.

In wedding related news, I attended my first wedding registry event with my bridesmaid Erin. For purposes of this post, I shall refer to Erin as the registry nazi. This is a term of endearment, because without her help, I would have been hopeless. Until this point, I thought registering would be very exciting...the thought of selecting all the things i wanted seemed like an ideal way to spend a morning. HA! So, off to Crate and Barrel on Sunday morning for mimosas and registering, I was enthusiastic. When we arrived, it appeared I had missed the memo that this was a couples thing. I could not imagine Ryan getting excited about registering nor sipping mimosas on a Sunday morning. When checking in when we arrived, I was tempted to inform the sales person that Erin was my life partner, but remembered we are in Texas, where guns and ultra conservative opinions run rampant. We got our scanner and our instructions and were let loose in the store. It is a bit early to register but I am taking advantage of these events cause you get free food and a gift, so why not! Overall, it was a success and I'm glad to have one done.

I have created a list of my top 5 lessons learned from the event for my next marriage...just kidding Parents!

1. It is amazing I have been able to make it through life without having the 3 different cutting boards I was forced to register for by the registry nazi. During my first year living in an apartment, I learned the hard lesson as to why it is NOT okay to use the counter as a built in cutting board. So i could get on board with one cutting board. Sadly, I was educated that a wood cutting board is acceptable for certain foods, meat required a second type of material and a third cutting board that is smaller which allows one to cut vegetables and then easily pour them into a bowl. My biggest concern here is that i don't eat vegetables.

2. Apparently, it is NOT okay to offer guests paper napkins. Therefore, I am soon to be the proud owner of cloth table and cocktail napkins. I consider this unnecessary and was astonished at the amount of selection these cloth napkins come in. When making fun of this phenomenon the sales person gave me an evil look. I scanned the cloth atrocities and moved on.

3. Begrudgingly, I registered for a glass pitcher. Don't get me wrong, i like the pitcher, but until the registry nazi told me it was NOT okay to use my brita pitcher when guests are over, I would not have even gone down the pitcher aisle. But, since we were in the aisle, i decided to also register for a cool cocktail pitcher...that's more my speed.

4. Place settings. It is still not clear to me why one requires so many dishes to eat a simple meal. I scanned the large dinner plate I selected and started to move on. The registry nazi informed me that I needed to register for salad plates, dessert plates, and coffee mugs. Umm, what? First of all, i registered for 12 sets...I don't have a table big enough for 12 people, nor do we even have 12 friends down here in Houston, haha. Second, what is wrong with putting all the food on one plate? Seems to me this is a retail ploy to get more money. And finally, when I attempted to register for 2 different times of dishes, the registry nazi almost fainted. Apparently this is not allowed in the etiquette book. Sigh.

5. Last, but not least, a very important lesson learned by both myself and the registry nazi. When registering, apparently it is NOT okay to wear jeans and an nice top. When we arrived, I was confused. Each of the other females attending the event had on identical outfits. A top covered by a cardigan with dressy knee length shorts and high heels, hair done, full make-up. These southern bells looked like they were at their rehearsal dinner, not Crate and Barrel at 9am on a Sunday. Their respective men looked equally as nice, but bored beyond belief. I may not know why you need two forks at a place setting, but i sure know that 95% (shout-out to Uncle Bob) of men would rather be where i usually can be found on any given sunday.....on the couch or at a bar enjoying a good football game with a beer and burger.